The Mystery of the Synapse Flapjack Mishap

I am fascinated by how the human brain works. It is simply amazing to me that a bunch of little neurons, a few chemicals, and some electric signals can produce consciousness and thought.

My brain however, is atypical. I have before been accused of being "spacey", "forgetful", or even "absentminded". My intention today is address these and other misconceptions and to debunk them with pure, hard, scientific AWESOMENESS. The following are a few important parts of the brain, and how you think it should work compared to how it works in my case.

#1) The brain stem.

Typically:

• Controls automatic reactions (breathing, etc.)
• Controls blood pressure
• Controls limb movements and reflexes

In my case:

• Made of silly putty
• Contains memory bank for song lyrics
• Enables super cool dance moves

#2) The Hypothalamus
Typically:

• Controls body temperature
• Controls behavioral response (hunger, thirst, etc.)
• Controls aggression

In my case:

• Controls car key location forgetfulness
• Controls good looks
• Manages growth stunting
• Controls automatic autograph response
  

#3)Cerebrum / Cerebellum
Typically:

• Helps coordinate limb movements
• Takes information from the sensory organs
• Controls memory and thought process
• Controls emotion

In my case:

• Smells of baked beans
• Controls sweet flapjack-making skills
  
• Controls subconscious desire to eat Mexican food
• Helps facilitate guitar strumming movement
  
• Controls memory loss system
• Goes for $250 on eBay

There you have it! Hopefully this helps clarify a thing or two.

-Kevin